Happy Homemaker Tip of the Day: How to clean a dozen eggs from your kitchen floor

For those of you who haven't had the delightful pleasure of cleaning a dozen crushed eggs from your kitchen floor, let me tell you, it's not as simple as it sounds. First, you have to deal with removing the oooey, gooey, slimey mess from the floor. I've found that it's easiest to just use my hands. As disgusting as it is, it works a lot better than smearing the eggs around with paper towels. Second, wipe away the remaining eggs with wet paper towels. You may have to do this several times. Third, mop. And mop again. And then mop with bleach. I've found that if you don't use a strong chemical, your kitchen will smell strangely like meringue later in the day.

And now, you're probably wondering, did Roman do it again? Yes, yes he did. He managed to sneak into the fridge, find the eggs that I bought just a couple of hours ago, and smash them all over the floor. Then he proceeded to smear his egg-covered hands all over a plate of sugar cookies that were stored in the fridge. He also managed to take a few bites from various cookies in the process. Didn't I learn my lesson the first time? I guess not.